By Alex the builder
16 January 2025
To find meaning, you must first venture through life’s challenges. In your twenties, you explore somewhat carelessly. You make mistakes, learn, and form opinions shaped by the sum of your interactions. Surrounding yourself with people, podcasts, or books you hold in high esteem is crucial.
The Japanese concept of Ikigai offers a strong foundation to guide a long and fulfilling life: a balance of what you love, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you’re good at.
What your good at: The Power of Exploration in Youth
Growing up as a kid, I loved building with Lego. My dream was to work for them and design new creations as an engineer. Life, however, presented me with opportunities in construction, working for the family. It was tough—the kind of old-school education where you’re get yelled at for not doing enough. It shaped my resilience and work ethic.
Later, I studied electrical engineering and started my first company at 23, born out of a disagreement over a forbidden promise of partnership. My company, building powerlines and substations, brought early success as my strength resided in streamlining process to be as efficient as possible, thus cheaper. I've been successful for a couple years but ultimately was forced out of business by the Quebec government when they refused to pay a significant invoice they had previously agreed to. Between that and my loathing for Quebec entrenched parasitic bureaucracy I sold everything to repay my creditors and set sail for Calgary, the land of opportunities.
The call of the desert will break all chains. Only in the desert we're aware of our simple mindless - Spirit of the Depths - Karl Jung
I was resentful at first, and it took me a long time to understand that meaning requires experience and my failures where a necessary catalyst to my transformation. It pushed me to reflect, read and venture into practices like journaling, meditation, or even quiet inquiry in a form of a prayer—asking myself, “What am I not understanding about this recurring theme in my life? It’s through trial, error, and absorbing wisdom from those we admire—mentors, books, or podcasts—that I begin shaping my purpose.
For me, one thing was certain, I was good a building thing and getting the job done regardless of the circumstances so, with this special set of skills, I believe I could be successful in the house building industry.
What the world needs: Service and Fulfillment
Construction always been a self-serving endeavor, and building house was no different. For 10+ years, I was focused on flipping properties for profit, and while I enjoyed the process, the slow turnaround paired with the pressure from high-interest loans forced me to ask deeper questions. Why isn’t it working the way I want it to? What did I do wrong? I really enjoy building; I’m at the right place?
Eventually, looking back at the experience with clients, I realized the shared enjoyment in creating spaces for others. And when I think about it, a house should reflect the lives and spirits of those who will inhabit it, not serve as a monument to my ego. Shifting from self-serving goals to service-oriented creation brought profound meaning. When you truly listen to others, you begin to understand how different we are and how life’s pressures shape us to serve different purpose.
Transcending judgment and embracing the richness of human diversity isn’t easy for the monkey brain, which is wired for tribal thinking. If one idea is different than yours, it might not be because they're stupid, but because they’re on a different path. To conceptualize 12 houses following the 12 zodiacs psychological patterns was a real eye opener for me, as I could have a visual representation of our human diversity. I found some design shocking, or too bold, but when you understand the underlying psychological needs, it makes a lot of sense.
You get to service and fulfillment by fixing your life first; start with difficult task. It can simply be by putting your bedroom in order or going to the gym on a regular basis. The main takeway is that it won’t happen overnight and it's a succession of little step. Creating a long list of little easy thing to do helps as achieving small things can be an encouraging visual representation of you moving forward. Once you get good at it, you can start incorporating small things to do for others like "I will call my mom today" or "read a short bedtime story", and see the miracles unfold! Once the whole family is in a better place, you can expand outward your circle of influence" today I will smile to a stranger" or in my case, "I will try to understand my client spirit to the fullest extent to be able to shape the perfect space for them".
Sacrifice is not destruction, sacrifice is the foundation of what is to come.
Caring for others fosters understanding, but it requires boundaries. Some people will drain you without giving back. Like trying to save someone addicted to drugs, as they need to take the first step toward helping themselves first. True service starts with understanding others while preserving your own well-being.
What you can be paid for: The Core of Creation
Success lies in mastering something meaningful. You can achieve this through two paths: the hard one of learning by trial and error, or the easier one of following a master. My friend Greg from Landen Design embodies the latter, sharing his wisdom generously and accelerating my growth as a builder.
For me, I’ve been a builder from the start, whether with Lego, powerlines or houses. I find it poetic that my childhood play evolved into my life’s work and that youthful curiosity shaped my adult craftsmanship. Building today, however, differs from my earlier ventures. Now, I build not for myself but for others. It’s a natural progression: first, you put your room in order; then your house and family. Eventually, you extend this care to strangers and, perhaps, to a community.
The sum is always greater than its part or should be.
Ultimately, success comes from creating more value than you consume, and the two are deeply connected. I know, it’s a hard one for our current dictatorship ruler but equality of outcome (pretend to work while they pretend to pay you) doesn’t work on the long run.
To me, true capitalist (not the bureaucratic monarchy or corporate oligarchy we live in) is a true representation of life, as you add value only when you make it better for others.
Again, to be paid well, you must create more value than what you consume and follow this path with sincerity!
What you love: The Influence of Natal Charts
By way of playfulness and experiment, I recently discover that the message from my western astrological natal chart was roughly the same across time and culture. Interestingly, where I stand today after my forced transformations aligns remarkably well with my main theme. To explore it further, I voluntary set myself into and experiment to add a spiritual dimension to my journey, and a lot of good things emerges since then. Old desires began to come to fruition, and life became simpler. It’s fascinating how cosmic patterns can serve as a guidepost for meaning, especially when combined with self-discipline and mindfulness.
However, one should use extreme caution, and not to fall prey to your own Oracle like so many people does. I believe this is why some religion forbid people to use astrology as it’s easy to find meaning and symbols in everyday life that might lead you on the wrong path.
Would aligning with my natal chart earlier have changed my path? Perhaps, but I am who I am today because of the experiences that shaped me. Aligning your passions, talents, and opportunities with cosmic order can enhance meaning, but the journey must still be your own.
Find joy in the rhythm of the everyday, and let meaning arise through the balance of effort and reflection
The path to meaning start with: The adventure of your life
For me, the path to Ikigai came from my personal experience of the hero’s journey:
The hero voluntarily embarks on an adventure. Through trials and adversity, face a near-death experience, forcing a transformation from which he is reborn.
The oldest version of this hero narrative traces back to Osiris, the Egyptian sun god, who was resurrected by his wife, Isis, the moon goddess. This myth parallels the sun's journey through the zodiac: weakening after the autumn equinox (adversity), diminishing to its smallest expression at the winter solstice (death), regaining strength after the spring equinox (transformation), and shining at its peak at the summer solstice (rebirth).
As beings born from stardust and powered by the sun, it’s no wonder this myth resonates so deeply within us—it’s embedded in our biology and psychology. The hero’s journey forms the backbone of today’s most beloved stories, from Star Wars to Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Dune, and even Mario Bros and Trump. It’s profoundly present in the Bible as well, in the stories of Abraham, Moses, Judas and Jesus.
Toward a Clear Formula for Meaningful Living
Reflecting on Ikigai, I believe I came to a point where I fully embodies it’s spirit; by doing what I love with playfulness, and in the sincere pursuit to strive for excellence in what I’m good at, I’m curious to see if I can fulfill the need of social hunger for meaning by building spaces corresponding to their exact personalities that my speak to their unconscious needs.
There’s no single formula, but based on what I’ve read and my experiences, I can see some universal principles:
Embrace Struggles as Growth Opportunities: Reframe failures as the universe guiding you toward your purpose. Consider incorporating rituals of gratitude or creativity to complement introspection. They can provide balance during moments of intense reflection. creative outlets—art, music, or even gardening—as ways to externalize inner struggles. Practice regular mindful gratitude practices to shift focus from problems to blessings.
Take Responsibility: Start small—clean your room, build your family, and extend outward.
Listen Deeply and care with caution: Learn from others, honor differences, and let their needs guide your actions. Use “compassionate detachment”—caring for others without sacrificing your own well-being. Caring deeply, while not clinging to outcomes or expecting reciprocation, is a way to preserve energy and avoid resentment. Boundary-setting is another insight. While helping others is noble, recognizing when you're overextending is crucial for sustainability
Progression of Service towards a Higher Purpose: Move beyond self-serving goals to create something that benefits your community or even humanity. Encourage embracing the process, not just the outcome. Acknowledge that fulfillment grows slowly, like a garden, through consistent tending. even small acts, like making a meal for loved ones or organizing a space, can have spiritual significance. Balancing ambition with patience is another frequent insight. Many struggles with wanting immediate results, but growth often happens incrementally.
Align with Your Essence: Use tools like Ikigai, the tree of life or astrology to reflect on your strengths, passions, and opportunities. using astrology as a guide but not a rigid oracle and avoid over-reliance on divination tools leading to paralysis or misdirection. Astrology is a mirror, not a map—a way to reflect on patterns and tendencies without dictating decisions. Maybe try to work to seasonal rhythms—living in harmony with nature, such as working harder in summer and resting more in winter.
Play and wonder. joy and meaning is found not only in hard work or service but also in moments of play, curiosity, and exploration. Injecting a sense of play and wonder can make the journey more enriching.
Beauty as a reflection of meaning: Many ancient cultures viewed the act of creating beauty as sacred, believing it reflected divine harmony. experiences of awe help find meaning —standing before a majestic mountain, a star-filled sky, or even a perfectly designed space, as sharing beauty form of connection.
Final Thoughts
Finding meaning isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a practice which start with answering the call of adventure. Begin with small steps, cultivate a spirit of service, and align with your essence. Whether through Ikigai, astrology, or reflection, the key is to balance introspection with action, honoring both the old and the new as you craft a meaningful life.
Are you ready to take your first step? What small action can you take today to align with your purpose?